Life is so much better after having sex.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
