Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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