I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
