he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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