You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
