Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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