You smell like a Billy Joel song
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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