wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
