I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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