My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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