Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
