super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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