I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
