Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
