Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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