the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
