she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
