I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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