I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
