I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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