So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
