then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
