We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
