party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
if only i could text you this smell
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
