Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
