so let's talk penis.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
