your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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