Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
