fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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