i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
