it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
