There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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