those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
