i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
