apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
