one might say we're banned from that church
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
