This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
