if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
