Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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