You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
