is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
