In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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