started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
