At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
