you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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