She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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