Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
