dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
