Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
