just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
