i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
3 2 1 whiskey
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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