My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
