i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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