I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
