I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
